Overwhelmed - Alen and Vedran reunion last bit

(Picking up post sexy stuff but before V actually gets out of the bath).

<Vedran> ...We stopped the Geyr Hextor from blowing up parliament today
<Aleyn> ...oh.
<Aleyn> good?
* Vedran will say eventually, to have something to talk about that is...safe-ish @_@
* Vedran nods
* Aleyn is still a little dazed.
<Aleyn> was that why you couldn't sleep?
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> who's we?
<Vedran> They imbued this Warforged named Abandon with a ritual that would have brought the whole building down...
* Aleyn nods, listening
<Vedran> Agyness, Brenn, Alia, Thru...Zanne, and Kossis and Magcayrn. I don't think you know them.
<Aleyn> you've been busy too, then.
* Aleyn shakes his head
<Vedran> only the past few days, really
* Aleyn smiles gently.
<Aleyn> good work.
<Vedran> thanks
* Aleyn seems actually proud of you
<Aleyn> I guess it's probably one of those things where because you succeeded, no one noticed or cared, huh?
<Vedran> hrh, yeah
<Vedran> House Machel
<Vedran> they're keeping an eye out now
* Aleyn nods
<Vedran> we know some places to watch
<Aleyn> that's good, then...
<Vedran> some people
* Vedran nods
* Vedran manages to relax more
<Aleyn> and we're back to help now too.
<Vedran> yeah
* Vedran looks up at you and smiles
* Aleyn smiles back.
<Vedran> I should let you get cleaned up before the water gets cold?
<Aleyn> ...probably should wash the rest of me, yeah.
<Aleyn> my back and shoulders are really clean, though
* Vedran smiles
* Vedran will kiss you again then, gentle and almost casual, before climing out of the tub
* Aleyn will retrieve the soap and wash the rest of himself fairly briskly.
* Vedran is perfectly dry once he's out, and fixes his shirt
* Aleyn glances over at you occasionally though
<Vedran> is everyone meeting up in the morning?
<Aleyn> not too early. I think we were going to aim for around noon.
<Aleyn> you know... people may want time to sleep in
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> they might
* Vedran agrees
<Aleyn> and I need to go see my mother, let her know I'm back.
* Vedran ndos
<Vedran> ...I went to see her, after you disappeared
<Aleyn> I figured I'd ...oh?
<Vedran> and after we did the sending, just to let her know you were safe then, at least
<Vedran> well
<Vedran> I was here.
* Aleyn nods, looking serious.
<Vedran> I guess it isn't *really* my job...
<Aleyn> I appreciate that, though. you didn't have to, but you did.
<Vedran> someone had to.
<Aleyn> yes, but it didn't have to be you... Monti, maybe... I just... thank you. it means a lot to me.
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> She was very nice about it, at least, but I know she'll be glad to see you home safe.
* Aleyn nods.
<Aleyn> ...would you come with me, in the morning? to see her, and let her know things are okay?
* Vedran pauses to think that through
<Vedran> I could...
* Aleyn smiles shyly.
<Aleyn> I..um...
<Aleyn> ...did you want me to stay with you tonight? or go home?
* Aleyn 's hopeful look makes it clear which one he'd prefer, but he offers you the choice anyway.
<Vedran> oh.
<Vedran> stay with me?
* Vedran asks, but he seems anxious agan
<Vedran> I... I just do't know what I'll be like
* Aleyn 's smile is breathtaking for a second there, but he contains it.
<Aleyn> it's okay. I'm happy just to be near you.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> I want that
<Vedran> ...but I'm scared too
<Aleyn> I know.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> mayeb...when we go home... we can talk some more
* Aleyn nods.
* Aleyn ducks his head under the water one final time to rinse off before getting out of the tub, dripping.
* Aleyn reaches for a towel.
* Vedran offers hesitantly, becaue he doesn't know if he can follow through or not
* Vedran watches you get out, and hands you a towel
* Aleyn dries off his hair, which makes it extra ridiculously-sticky-uppy.
* Aleyn runs a hand through it futilely.
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> cute
<Aleyn> heh.
<Vedran> come here?
* Aleyn comes over
* Vedran runs his fingers through it, messing it all up again, and then kisses you
<Vedran> better.
* Vedran smirks
<Aleyn>
* Aleyn gets the rest of the way dried off
<Aleyn> ...robe?
* Aleyn looks around for it.
<Vedran> rigt
* Vedran will fetch it for you and help you get it on
<Aleyn> (heh)
* Aleyn eyes his clothes dubiously.
<Aleyn> I suppose I have to put the boots back on, at least for the walk back... I'm going to abandon the socks though, I think.
<Vedran> you can just leave them here.... smone will have use for them in undertow
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> well, maybe not the socks
<Vedran> you never know
<Aleyn> heh.
* Aleyn is happy to leave them to someone who needs them more >.>
<Aleyn> ready?
* Aleyn asks once he's more or less presentable again.
* Vedran nods
* Aleyn gives you another kiss and then will open the door for you.
* Vedran will leve then attendant a tip large enough to dissuade any tongue wagging (hopefully) and take you back home
* Aleyn will walk back to your apartment with you.
* Aleyn looks around once we get there, unsure where you want to do this talking.
<Vedran> ...
<Vedran> I wrote you a letter
<Aleyn> ..oh?
<Vedran> when you were gone... after I got yours
<Vedran> I thought...a lot... about things
* Aleyn nods slowly.
<Vedran> I don't know
<Vedran> it's a start
<Aleyn> okay.
<Vedran> I don't think I could....say it
<Aleyn> I can read it, and then... if you want, we can talk about it? if I have any questions or ...stuff like that?
<Vedran> ...I can try
* Aleyn nods.
* Vedran will settle you on the couch and then fetch the letter from a locked drawer in the desk in his bedroom
<Vedran> I haven't looked at it
<Vedran> in a while
* Vedran says nervously
<Vedran> (its sealed, in fact)
* Aleyn takes it carefully

{Letter exists in actual paper form, but the gist is - V would like to have awesome sex with Aleyn and really likes him, but he is full of Issues and has trouble trusting himself and feeling like it is okay to want things or have things he wants. When Aleyn offers him too much ('anything') it is overwhelming and terrifying. So maybe start small, give lots of reassurance and patience, ask for things, ask to do things, make him talk and answer, and basically have the most ridiculously consent-based relationship ever. V really wants to work through this, and with Aleyn, and be with Aleyn and
eventually they can have the awesome sex, too. Only slightly more graphic in places}

* Aleyn reads it and his eyes fill with tears.
* Vedran watches you nervously
* Aleyn looks up at you.
<Aleyn> ... I want that too.
* Aleyn says first of all.
* Vedran wasn't really expecting you to *cry* and isn't really sure what that means
* Vedran nods slowly
* Aleyn isn't sobbing, just a few tears.
<Aleyn> I wish I knew how to just... make it better.
<Aleyn> for you.
* Vedran shakes his head
<Vedran> me too
<Aleyn> I'm sorry I scared you.
<Aleyn> I don't want to...
<Vedran> I know...
<Aleyn> I'll try to ... to ask for... to offer... things that are more... manageable.
<Vedran> I know... its hard
<Vedran> because I don't know what that is
<Aleyn> but I can ask.
<Aleyn> and we can find out together, maybe.
* Vedran nod
<Vedran> its not always the same
* Vedran tries to explain
* Aleyn listens
<Vedran> sometimes it doesn't make any sense
<Vedran> or sometimes if I'm already stressed, its worse
* Aleyn nods.
<Vedran> And..
<Vedran> I don't want anhone to kow, to see, and ...
<Vedran> that there's something...wrong wth me
<Aleyn> even me?
<Vedran> so i can't just... say, or..
<Vedran> I don't know
<Vedran> sometimes?
* Aleyn nods.
<Vedran> I'm so sorry
<Aleyn> it's okay to show me if you're scared, or angry, or ... or whatever you're feeling. or to just want to be alone, that's okay too.
<Vedran> this shouldn't happen, and I don't understand
<Vedran> why
* Vedran hides his face again, turning away from you
<Aleyn> (are you sitting beside me?)
<Vedran> (No, standing)
<Aleyn> (k)
* Aleyn gets up to go to your side.
* Vedran sniffs
<Aleyn> you don't have to apologize to me... not for this. it's not your fault.
<Vedran> I'm just tired
<Vedran> you don't know that
<Vedran> you don't
* Vedran sniffs
<Aleyn> I can tell you're hurting.
<Aleyn> is it okay if I hold you?
* Vedran shakes his head
* Aleyn looks down at the letter in his hand, at a loss.
<Vedran> Ijust ...just want to be normal again
<Vedran> it j-just makes everything worse
* Aleyn nods, listening.
* Vedran will sit down
<Aleyn> it'll take time. but I want to help you get there. ...because...
<Aleyn> because I love you.
* Aleyn says quietly.
* Vedran starts crying
* Aleyn comes to kneel beside you.
<Vedran> oh god
<Aleyn> I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, maybe...
<Vedran> I... i just ruin everything
<Aleyn> I just... I feel it, and I couldn't lie about it to you.
<Aleyn> you don't have to say it back or ... or even feel it back.
* Vedran curls up in on himself on the couch
* Aleyn reaches out to touch your shoulder.
* Vedran is still crying, and he flinches very slightly
* Aleyn lifts his hand at the flinch, but lowers it again if you don't pull away.
<Aleyn> Vedran.... it's not ruined...
<Aleyn> it's hard. but it's not ruined.
<Aleyn> and I'll be here, I'm not going to run away just because it's not easy.
* Vedran is fighting between trying to stop crying and trying to fight his scarier thoughts
<Vedran> (focusing his energy between the two, rather)
<Aleyn> ... can you talk to me? you said I should make you talk...
* Vedran manages to shake his head jjust a very little
<Aleyn> just one word.
* Aleyn suggests.
* Vedran fights to get his breathing ubder control before he can even think of trying to open his tightly clenched throat
* Aleyn breathes slowly, trying to get you to echo his pace.
* Vedran tries, and eventually opened his mouth, but nothing comes out
<Aleyn> Vedran.
* Vedran glances at you
* Aleyn looks at you with those beautiful eyes, full of ...love, is that what that look is?
<Aleyn> one word.
* Aleyn repeats softly.
* Vedran squeezes his eyes shut again
<Vedran> cght
<Aleyn> (was that a typo-word, or a choking noise from V?)
* Vedran manages something like a choked sound through clenched teeth
<Aleyn> (ok)
<Aleyn> ... caught? can't?
* Aleyn tries to interpret.
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> okay.
<Aleyn> just breathe, then.
<Aleyn> until it passes, just keep breathing with me.
* Vedran can manage that
* Aleyn keeps his hand on your shoulder, just lightly, so you know he's there.
* Vedran will calm down eventually, glancing at you occasionally.... he just looks completely work out at this point
* Aleyn stays beside you, patient.
* Aleyn settles into sitting on the floor, though, because knees ow.
<Vedran> (fair :3)
<Aleyn> ...
<Vedran> ...sorry
<Vedran> i..
<Vedran> I wanted everyting
<Vedran> when you came home
<Vedran> to go.. okay
<Vedran> and
<Vedran> not this
* Aleyn nods.
<Aleyn> I don't want to say 'it's okay.' it's not okay that you feel like that. but I'm not angry or anything.
<Vedran> ...sorry
* Aleyn shakes his head.
<Vedran> I know
<Aleyn> that wasn't how I meant to say it...
* Aleyn thinks for a minute
<Aleyn> but I feel like I spent all night saying 'it's okay' and... it's not, not everything anyway. but... it's not all bad either. it's not ruined.
<Aleyn> does that make sense?
<Vedran> Its not okay?
<Aleyn> I'm sorry, I'm saying this all wrong I guess :/
<Vedran> Aleyn
<Aleyn> yes?
* Vedran reaches out for you, confused and afraid
* Aleyn puts his arms out, pulling you to him.
<Aleyn> I don't want you to feel like I'm saying this is...nothing to worry about, or that I'm dismissing your problems. I don't want to do that. but I want to be able to let you know that you didn't ruin things, you didn't scare me away... maybe 'it's okay' is the best way to say that, I don't know. it feels ...inadequate, but it's the best I can do.
* Aleyn tries to explain.
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> so... it's okay, Vedran. I'm here, and it's okay.
* Vedran sniffs again
* Aleyn scootches up onto the couch with you to hold you better.
<Vedran> I don't know how to stop it
<Vedran> right now, I..
<Vedran> I still feel so
* Vedran shakes his head, not really knowing the right words
<Aleyn> I don't know either. maybe it'll get easier with time.
<Aleyn> can I get you anything? a drink, or a wet cloth or anything?
<Vedran> no'
<Aleyn> do you think you can sleep? that might be what's best right now.
<Vedran> so tired....
* Aleyn nods.
<Vedran> But I don't know
<Aleyn> welll... let's give it a try?
<Vedran> ...
<Vedran> okay
* Aleyn helps you up
* Vedran feels kind of light-headed
* Aleyn will lead you into your bedroom, which he hasn't seen before.
* Vedran 's room is actually quite tidy, though the robe he discarded earlier is lying in the bed
* Aleyn draws the blankets back.
<Aleyn> I can stay beside you, or I can sleep on the couch, whichever.
<Vedran> ...
<Aleyn> or I can stay just until you fall asleep, or... or...
* Vedran looks so fragile...
<Vedran> ...stay?
<Aleyn> <q> I don't want to leave you.
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> (is the bed against a wall?)
<Vedran> (yeah)
<Aleyn> do you want me to get in first, so you can get out easier if you need to?
<Aleyn> or do you usually sleep next to the wall?
* Vedran shakes his head
<Vedran> no
<Vedran> let me go first
<Aleyn> okay.
<Aleyn> ... do you have a nightshirt?
<Aleyn> or ... however you'll be most comfortable sleeping.
* Vedran will strip down to his shirt and drawers
* Aleyn gets off his boots, but keeps on the robe you loaned him.
* Vedran stares into the depths of his wardrobe before hanging up his waistcoat as if it might be fully of shadowy terrors, though >.>
* Aleyn waits for you, since you said you wanted in first.
* Vedran will crawl in against the wall, then
* Aleyn gets into bed beside you, pulling the blankets over us both.
* Vedran reaches for your hand as you are settling
<Aleyn> ...oh gods, a real bed @_@
* Aleyn takes your hand.
<Vedran> (its a veeeeery comfy one, at that)
* Aleyn is impressed!
<Vedran> I..need to know
* Aleyn turns his head to look at you
<Vedran> ..
* Vedran furrows his brow, trying to sort out the words
<Vedran> No, I do know
<Aleyn> what?
<Vedran> YOu want me *with you*, here
<Aleyn> yes. absolutely.
<Vedran> I don't know if I can sleep
<Vedran> but I want to lie with you
<Aleyn> all right.
<Aleyn> you can curl up to me if you want.
<Vedran> don't let me go?
<Vedran> If I try
<Vedran> because I don't want to
<Vedran> but I might get....confused
<Aleyn> ...all right. I don't know if I can wrestle you to the ground to stop you, but I can remind you.
* Vedran says warily, but smiles a little at that
<Aleyn> can I hold you?
<Vedran> please
* Aleyn snuggles up to you, close.
* Aleyn wraps his arm around your waist.
<Aleyn> is this okay?
* Vedran will lie there and be held and loved and try to believe that's right
<Vedran> yes
* Aleyn will drift off to sleep like that, then.
* Vedran will probably eventually sleep a little too...
<Vedran> :3
<Aleyn> (aww)
<Aleyn> (does he try to escape?
* Vedran is probably too concerned with no waking you up to try and go curl up at the foot of the bed >.>
<Aleyn> (daww)
<Aleyn> (do we want to do a little bit of waking up times too, see how that goes?)
<Vedran> (it is almost midnight for you... I don't know how long it might take :3)
<Aleyn> (fair... I can go a bit longer though. at least to see how they wake up together, even if we don't go on to breakfast with mom and so forth
<Vedran> (I was thinking mom breakfast might be a good thread
<Aleyn> (yeah
<Vedran> (I'll let you wake up first then, since you probably slept longer but are also in an unfamiliar place)
* Aleyn stirs, nuzzling up against you sleepily.
* Aleyn smiles, still only half-awake, but recognizing your smell, your feel...
* Vedran seems to be pretty deeply asleep
<Aleyn> . o O (Please don't be a dream.)
* Vedran 's ritual has worn off sometime during the night too
* Aleyn opens his eyes and sees you there, and says a silent little prayer of thanks for being home, and being with you.
* Aleyn just lies with you, not wanting to wake you if you're getting much-needed rest.
<Aleyn> <w> I love you.
* Aleyn says to sleeping you.
* Vedran stirrs ever so slightly
* Aleyn touches one of your sweat-damp curls
* Vedran 's brow furrows slightly
* Aleyn stops, not wanting to disturb you
* Vedran will eventually stirr a little more, between sleep cycles
* Aleyn is nestled up close against you.
* Aleyn 's morning wood has probably died down by now, at least >.>
* Vedran 's maybe not >.>
* Aleyn resists very hard the urge to touch ...
* Vedran flinches at something and his eyes flutter open when his body realizes it's restrained bu your snuggle
<Vedran> oh...
<Aleyn> <q> good morning
* Vedran relaxes
* Aleyn kisses your cheek.
<Vedran> good morning...
<Aleyn> I've been wanting to do that for ... not sure, about a quarter hour at least, maybe longer, but I didn't want to wake you.
<Vedran> oh, thanks
<Aleyn> ...and I wanted to be here when you woke.
* Vedran smiles sleepily at that
<Vedran> thanks
<Aleyn> thank you.
<Aleyn> your bed is by far the most comfortable I've ever slept in
<Vedran> I like it...
<Aleyn> and with the loveliest company.
<Vedran> charmer
* Aleyn nuzzles, kisses your neck.
* Vedran smiles, but maybe a hint of tightness
<Aleyn> you got some sleep eventually, then.
<Vedran> I guess
* Aleyn stretches widely.
<Aleyn> that's good.
* Aleyn 's morning hair is extra-tousled.
* Aleyn sits up, turning to look back down at you.
* Vedran rolls over on his back to look up at you, stretching his arms above his head
<Aleyn> <q> This is my favourite way to see you... at least, so far.
<Vedran> hmm?
<Vedran> sleepy?
<Aleyn> relaxed... happy, I hope...
<Aleyn> a little sweaty and messy hair...
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> you look great
<Aleyn> heh, if you say so
* Aleyn seems surprised, but pleased.
<Vedran> I do
* Vedran reaches a hand up to your head
<Vedran> can I?
<Aleyn> sure
* Vedran tousles your hair then, stretching
* Aleyn grins.
* Vedran sits up
<Aleyn> can I kiss you?
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> please
* Vedran was just about to ask :3
* Aleyn leans into you for a long, langourous kiss.
* Vedran gives you lazy morning kisses
<Aleyn> mmm
<Aleyn> damn, and my cock had just settled down
* Vedran scratches his fac
* Aleyn says lightly
<Vedran> ...maybe that's better this morning?
<Aleyn> yeah, we don't really have time
<Vedran> right.
* Aleyn says a bit regretfully.
<Aleyn> ...maybe later?
* Vedran tries not to sound too relieved >.>
<Vedran> Maybe...
<Vedran> I have to pick up Macen at some point, in Overlook...
<Aleyn> right.
<Vedran> and see everyone
<Aleyn> I'd love to see him - did Brenn deliver my present for him too, along with the clothes?
<Vedran> eventually, yes
* Aleyn smiles.
<Aleyn> we'll get to see everyone at the Union, I'm sure... assuming Brenn and Kallista can pry themselves apart.
* Aleyn teases
<Vedran> I hope so...
<Vedran> We'll know where to find them if not
<Aleyn> heh, yup.
<Aleyn> ...still feel up to breakfast with my mother?
<Vedran> I think so...
<Vedran> did you want to stop home first?
<Vedran> Put on some of your own clothes?
<Aleyn> Yeah, I was planning to... at least get some clean clothes.
<Vedran> okay
* Aleyn gets up out of bed, stretching. The robe indicates that perhaps he was not quite so settled down as all that >.>
* Vedran will not comment ;p
* Aleyn looks down, shrugs.
<Aleyn> heh, oh well.
* Aleyn wanders off to find the bathroom.
* Vedran will get dressed and start his ritual while you are off, and try not to think about that
* Aleyn returns after a little, and waits until you're done your ritual.
* Vedran finishes and puts away his ritual book
* Aleyn smiles.
<Vedran> I just have to run to the washroom and then we can go, I guess?
<Aleyn> Handsome as ever.
<Aleyn> Sure.
<Vedran> thanks
* Vedran will return momentarity then
<Vedran> ready?
* Aleyn waits, considering his beard in the mirror.
<Aleyn> yeah.
<Vedran> heh
<Vedran> I don't have a shaving kit, or I'd have offered
* Vedran teases
* Aleyn shrugs.
<Aleyn> I can go by the barber later this afternoon, maybe while you're getting Macen.
<Aleyn> if you can tolerate it another few hours
<Vedran> I was thinking more of your mother ;p
<Aleyn> oh, heh.
<Aleyn> she... well, I was going to say she'll just be happy to see me, but... you might be right
<Aleyn> but she'll deal with it.
<Aleyn> Ready?
* Aleyn holds out his hand.
* Vedran will take it for a brief squeeze
<Vedran> ..sorry :/
<Aleyn> ..why?
* Vedran sighs
<Vedran> because I...can't hold your hand when we go out there :/
<Aleyn> oh. I know.
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> it's okay.
* Aleyn says for what seems like the hundredth time.
<Vedran> its not.
<Vedran> but we'll be okay?
* Aleyn nods.
<Aleyn> that's what Iwas trying to say last night. you said it better
* Aleyn gives you a kiss before we go back out into the world.
* Vedran will kiss you back
<Vedran> That's why I'm the bard ;p
* Aleyn smiles.