Family planning

Session Start: Sun Jan 06 11:29:49 2013
* Aleyn is wearing the robe you got him
* Vedran will brave the communal kitchen to make us some coffee and oatmeal with dried fruit
* Aleyn will keep Macen entertained/supervised while you do so
<Vedran> (eh I just realized that V doesn't have any kind of real dining room - I assume most people use the kitchen to eat as well, but prolly not V
<Aleyn> (heh - eat in the living room?
* Vedran has a little mat for macen to sit on when he is eating so he doens't get stuff all over the fancy rug
<Vedran> (yes)
* Vedran settles macen in his lap, sitting on the floor at the coffee table
* Aleyn sits across from you, legs folded
<Vedran> here you go, bud...
<Aleyn> Remember to eat the oatmeal too, not just pick out the fruit.
* Vedran passes his son a little wooden spoon
* Aleyn tells him with a smile.
<Aleyn> (even though that's the best part)
Aleyn watches Macen try to use the spoon, then resort to digging in with his hand instead, and chuckles.
* Macen makes big eyes at Aleyn as he munches on a piece of apricot, and drips oatmeal on daddy
* Vedran sighs and shakes his head
<Vedran> Come on, you can use a spoon...
<Vedran> here
* Vedran puts it back in his hand
<Vedran> like this, see?
<Macen> spoo!
<Vedran> yes, spoon...
<Vedran> now, come on, eat your breakfast...
* Aleyn 's face grows a little more serious
* Macen tries again, stabbing the oatmeal repeatedly
<Macen> da!
<Aleyn> Vedran... I've been thinking...
<Vedran> hmm?
* Vedran looks up from baby food wrangling
<Aleyn> .. about the kids at the orphanage.
<Vedran> oh?
* Vedran manages to get Macen to take a few bits with his spoon
<Aleyn> about whether I could help any of them.
<Aleyn> whether that would be... at all a good idea.
* Aleyn seems a little nervous talking about it
<Vedran> you mean... adopt them?
<Aleyn> yeah.
<Aleyn> I mean... maybe one or two. not all of them.
* Vedran grins
<Vedran> I figured
<Vedran> I know you've mentioned that one little girl before... Saiya?
* Aleyn nods
<Aleyn> Yeah. she's a shifter, I guess maybe about three years old? she's sweet. I think she likes me pretty well, at least she always gets me to read to her when I visit them.
<Aleyn> it's such a huge responsibility to take on though...
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> But you really want to?
<Aleyn> I feel like... I have the means that I could help them, and ... I thought I'd never have kids, but really, it doesn't have to be like that...
* Vedran smiles at that
<Vedran> Didn't I tell you? Two for the price of one ;p
<Aleyn> I would probably want two anyway... I mean, so she's not lonely.
<Aleyn> I mean, I don't mean that Macen is lonely... you know what I mean.
<Aleyn> just, she's lost so much already, and I wouldn't want to take her away from all her friends too...
* Vedran cuddles his son, who looks up at him with an oatmeal smeared face
<Vedran> I understand
<Vedran> here, bud, have some more...
* Vedran passes macen back his spoon, which he had dropped on his father's leg
<Aleyn> It's overwhelming to think about all the things I'd have to do, though.
<Aleyn> find a bigger place to live, and get all the stuff - furniture and toys and whatever...
<Vedran> you'd need help, too
* Aleyn nods
<Aleyn> I thought about maybe asking Tavya if she might want to move in and help, at least for a while. I have no idea if she would want to, though.
<Vedran> that's the sister I haven't met, right?
<Aleyn> Right, the younger one.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> talk to her, take her to meet the kids?
* Aleyn nods.
<Aleyn> even all that aside... I'd be away sometimes, and who knows what could happen... maybe it's not responsible of me to try to take this on now.
<Vedran> well
<Vedran> that's harder.
<Vedran> If something happens to me, Macen still has his mother
<Aleyn> right.
<Vedran> that would be something to talk about with.... your mother, maybe?
<Vedran> I don't want to think about anythign happening to you...
* Vedran says seriously
<Vedran> but you have to
<Aleyn> I guess. with all my family, really - I'd hope that when I was away, they would take turns helping out with kids.
<Vedran> you would have to know they would have someone who would absolutely take them in and take care of them
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> so it's not just on one person...
<Vedran> it would be good for them to know them all, yes
<Aleyn> but I know they would need something stable too.
<Vedran> right
<Aleyn> .. am I being selfish, Vedran?
<Aleyn> to want this?
<Vedran> Selfish?
<Vedran> how would this be selfish?
* Aleyn shakes his head.
<Aleyn> I don't know... I worry that I'm putting what I want ahead of what would really be best for them. maybe they would go to some... better family.
<Vedran> you have a great family, Aleyn.
<Aleyn> some family with a mother, and where people come home at regular hours, and nobody worries about whether their parents are going to die at work.
<Vedran> :/
* Aleyn picks at his food.
* Macen squirms and looks uncertainly at the adults, picking up on the sad
* Vedran kisses his son's head
<Vedran> I don't know
<Vedran> I mean - I still don't think you're being selfish.
<Vedran> My experiences of family are.... not great.
<Aleyn> :/
<Vedran> I mean
<Vedran> My mother raised me, mostly
<Aleyn> Mine were... I feel like I'd have a lot to live up to.
<Vedran> My father was around, and he was important, and I know that, on some level, he weas involved even if it wasn't always... personally
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> What you had... Well I'm sure it wasn't perfect, that things were probably hard in other ways
<Vedran> well
<Vedran> Any kids you take in - they're still going to be part of that
<Vedran> right?
* Aleyn nods
<Vedran> Even if they don't have a mother
<Vedran> I mean
<Vedran> there is still a larger network there
<Aleyn> I feel like... you must know a lot about this. About having a kid who's different than you, and about trying to make things safe and stable and happy for him even though you aren't always there...
<Aleyn> I'd probably have lots of questions for you.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> of course
<Vedran> I'll help you however I can
* Aleyn smiles at that.
<Vedran> But I'll be honest
Vedran> This... isn't what I wanted.
<Vedran> I'm just trying to make the best of things
<Vedran> and I feel selfish, a lot
<Aleyn> no, I know.. I mean... I know.
<Vedran> because this isn't stable
* Aleyn reaches out to take your hand, if there's one free.
* Vedran can free one for you when you reach
* Macen see this as a sign that it is time to get up!
<Vedran> Macen, finish your breakfast, please.
<Aleyn> whoops, oatmeal-face on the loose
* Macen toddles over to Aleyn with a smile, reaching for him with oatmeal smeared hands
* Macen giggles
* Aleyn will grab a napkin to wipe him down a bit
<Aleyn> There you go, here, have a seat with me if you want.
* Aleyn pulls Macen's bowl closer so he can reach it from this side of the table
* Macen sits
* Vedran leans back a bit, stretching out, and watching
<Vedran> there you go, you can sit with Aleyn, but you have some more oatmeal
* Aleyn helps get him settled in with his spoon and bowl
<Macen> Daddy et?
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> yes, I'll eat some too
* Vedran picks up his own negelected bowl and will lead by example
* Aleyn smiles
<Aleyn> I know it's not perfect... I mean... no family ever is.
<Vedran> right
<Aleyn> but I think you do a really good job with Macen.
* Macen looks up at you when you say his name
<Aleyn> and I want to try that too, I guess.
<Aleyn> yeah, we're talking about you
* Aleyn tells Macen with a smile.
* Macen babbles with his mouthful and sticks out his tongue
* Aleyn scrunches up his face for Macen.
* Macen laughs
<Vedran> hey bud, have some water... don't want you to choke @_@
* Vedran passes Aleyn Macen's glass so he can hold it ... no sippy cups here!
<Vedran> (maybe some kind of bottle though)
* Aleyn holds it for him at a bit of an angle so he can take a drink
* Macen drinks!
<Vedran> Anyway
<Vedran> I think you would be a good dad
* Aleyn sets the cup down, away from the edge of the table so it doesn't get knocked over by toddler-flail.
<Aleyn> thanks
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> I think Roscoe would like that, too
<Aleyn> yeah.
<Aleyn> I mean, I can't go do it tomorrow or anything... there's a lot of things to do first, like finding a house...
<Aleyn> but I'm going to work on that. Maybe I can get things organized in a few months...
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> I can help
<Aleyn>
<Aleyn> I appreciate it.
<Vedran> I know a good rental agent
* Aleyn chuckles.
<Aleyn> and how much does a nanny cost, anyway?
<Vedran> I knwo the sorts of things to ask when you're looking to hire help too... for the kids
* Aleyn nods.
<Vedran> You'll probably need someone you can rely on at least sometimes, even if your sister agrees to help out
<Aleyn> oh, yeah. I wouldn't want to put it all on her, especially when I'm out of town.
<Aleyn> that wouldn't be fair at all, and I think she'd hate it
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> you never know
<Aleyn> heh, well. When I was talking to Kallista about it she warned me that Tavya has lots of... uh, good friends
<Aleyn> it might be kind of a change in her lifestyle.
<Vedran> oh, do they know each other?
<Aleyn> Oh... I never told you that story? Gods. Yeah, they do.
<Aleyn> When I took Kallista to meet my family, she and Tavya really hit it off.
<Aleyn> like, *really* >.>
* Macen is getting squrmy again, but has now finished most of his oatmeal, and all of the fruit
* Macen steals some apricot from Aleyn's bowl
* Aleyn smiles and lets him.
<Vedran> ...Well, good for them, I suppose
<Aleyn> yeah. it's kind of weird. I had to ask Kallista not to tell me ... details @_@
* Vedran grins
<Aleyn> but I think everyone involved knows what's going on, and they're okay with it, so... I guess as long as they're having fun.
<Vedran> she is very open
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> hah, yeah.
<Aleyn> she thinks I have 'hang-ups'.
<Aleyn> which i think means, I don't tell everyone everything about my sex life.
<Vedran> yes well -_-
* Aleyn smiles fondly though
<Aleyn> she just told me to make sure to get a house with thick walls :p
<Vedran> probably a good call in any case
<Aleyn> yeah...
<Aleyn> I mean, after all, you'd be visiting sometimes too
<Vedran> buy a nice bed
<Aleyn> I will, definitely.
<Aleyn> nice and big
* Vedran smiles at that
* Aleyn wipes off Macen's hands and face again so that he can get up to go play if he's bored with grown-ups talk and sitting.
* Macen is quite happy to toddle off and start pulling things out of his toybox
<Aleyn> Thank you... I feel a bit better about this whole crazy idea now.
<Vedran> I'm glad - and I don't think its crazy
<Aleyn> it feels it... just so much uncertainty, I guess.
<Vedran> well...
<Vedran> that's how it goes, with kids, I've found
* Aleyn smiles at that
* Vedran too
<Aleyn> would we still be okay? I mean... it will probably make things more complicated.
<Vedran> I hope so.
<Aleyn> I would try my hardest to make things work.
<Vedran> it will probably make it harder for us to find time to be alone
<Aleyn> you mean so much to me, I don't want to risk that.
<Vedran> but it will be easier... to be together, if we have the kids along...
* Aleyn nods
* Vedran offers you his hand
* Aleyn takes it, squeezing tight.
* Vedran kisses the back of your hand
<Aleyn> they're only little for a while, right?
<Vedran> only a decade or so >.>
* Aleyn chuckles.
<Aleyn> yeah, but even after, oh, four or five years, you can send them outside to play for an hour
<Vedran> yeah....
<Aleyn> I mean, somehow my parents managed to keep making more
<Vedran> yeah...
* Vedran sighs
* Vedran squeezes your hand again
* Aleyn squeezes back
<Aleyn> I'm sorry. bad joke?
<Vedran> no, it wasn't that
<Vedran> ....what timeframe are you thinking?
<Aleyn> well... I'm not sure. I guess it depends how much we're out of town in the next while, and how fast I can get things set up with a proper place to live and all that.
<Aleyn> if you know an agent I guess I can have them look for me even if we have to go away for a bit.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> I do...
<Aleyn> what're you thinking?
<Vedran> I was just thinking that I... its been about three months now
* Aleyn nods, listening
<Vedran> since the divorce
<Vedran> which means... I have another three
<Vedran> and then... I don't know what will happen.
* Aleyn nods slowly.
<Aleyn> could you ask for more time?
<Vedran> I don't know
* Vedran runs his free hand though his hair
<Vedran> I can't give you up, though
<Vedran> I can't
* Aleyn gets up to come around the table and be closer to you.
<Vedran> but things will change
<Vedran> I just don't know how.
* Vedran leans against you
* Aleyn nods, sitting down, leaning back against the couch so you can lean with/against him if you want.
<Aleyn> It scares me too... not knowing.
<Aleyn> I'm not going anywhere, though.
<Vedran> okay
<Vedran> just... it might be a lot of change, all at once
* Aleyn nods.
<Vedran> maybe that's the best way to do things
<Aleyn> maybe. so when things settle down again, then they're settled.
<Vedran> maybe *I*'m being selfish...
<Aleyn> ... by wanting me? :/
<Vedran> that's part of it.
* Aleyn just holds you, listening.
<Vedran> I couldn't even think about any of this without you, though
<Vedran> but...
<Vedran> I don't know
<Vedran> I feel like I'm always asking so much from you, already
<Aleyn> is there something you need to ask?
<Vedran> hmm?
<Vedran> oh, no, nothing specific
<Aleyn> okay
<Vedran> just... to stay with me, through all of this. It's a lot.
<Aleyn> I know. and I don't want to pretend it's easy all the time
<Vedran> Maybe it will be better if you have something else to concentrate on...
<Vedran> but they're going to need you so much
<Vedran> at first
<Aleyn> yes, but ... so will you.
* Vedran nods
<Vedran> But they have to come first.
<Vedran> That's what it means, to be a parent
<Aleyn> I know...
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> but I'm not going to give you up.
<Vedran> I know
<Vedran> I'm not worried about that, just more about... timing?
* Aleyn considers.
<Vedran> probably about nothing
<Vedran> we'll work it out
<Aleyn> what's likely to happen in three months? you're not going to get married right then, right?
<Vedran> no
<Aleyn> it would take time.
<Vedran> but I'll have to be more availab;e
<Vedran> meeting people
<Aleyn> and probably you can make it take longer if you need to.
<Vedran> some, anyway
<Aleyn> I don't know how it all works, but I imagine you could say you want... more choices, or more time to decide, or whatever?
<Aleyn> like in a fairy tale, you can give them a quest to do before they win your hand. that'll eat up a good six months, right?
* Vedran smiles
* Aleyn manages a weak smile.
<Vedran> I don't think I'm that good a catch
<Aleyn> I disagree.
<Aleyn> ... would I get to meet her? whoever she is? before...?
<Aleyn> would you tell her about me?
<Vedran> yes
<Aleyn> okay
<Vedran> I talked to beryl the other day, and I'd been thinking about it already
<Vedran> and... I can't give you up, but I don't think I could handle hiding you, not that much
* Aleyn nods.
<Aleyn> okay... that will make things easier, then.
<Vedran> I can't go into this again thinking I can find someone to love. I already have that
<Aleyn> ...
<Vedran> Just someone I can live with.... work with
<Aleyn> you mean it?
<Vedran> ...that you're someone I can love?
* Aleyn nods
<Vedran> Of course you are.
<Vedran> I'm just... I still...
* Aleyn looks a little teary-eyed.
* Vedran smiles
<Vedran> I'm still sorting myself out...
<Aleyn> I know...
* Aleyn holds you closer.
* Vedran hugs you
<Vedran> kiss?
* Aleyn nods, and kisses you.
* Macen toddles over to give hugs too!
<Macen> hugs!
* Aleyn smiles
<Vedran> heh
<Vedran> Yes, hugs, macen
* Vedran hugs his son fiercely
* Aleyn hugs you both.
* Aleyn waits until Macen gets squirmy to let go and lean back against the couch with you again.
<Aleyn> ... maybe three months isn't so bad.
* Macen does, in fact, squirm away
<Vedran> no
<Vedran> maybe
<Aleyn> I mean... it's the uncertainty that's making us worry.
<Vedran> we'll see
* Vedran nods
<Aleyn> so... maybe if you start meeting ... women... and you have a better idea what you want, and are honest with them, then we'll have a better idea how this will work.
<Vedran> I hope so
<Aleyn> and you can delay longer once you find someone.... if you want... long engagement.
<Vedran> to a point
<Aleyn> I don't know. I just ... I really want this to work, and that's the missing factor right now, the thing we can't plan around, because we don't know who it is.
* Aleyn shakes his head.
<Vedran> I'm sorry I'm making this more complicated
<Aleyn> no... it's okay.
<Aleyn> what's the easier option, you tell me it's over? neither of us wants that.
<Macen> no.
<Macen> (argh, but lol)
<Aleyn> You make me so happy, Vedran. I'm willing to fight for that... for you.
<Macen> no book? ;_;
* Macen is digging though his toy box
* Vedran nods, but looks over at Macen
<Vedran> What are you looking for, buddy?
<Vedran> Your books are on your shelf, remember?
Vedran> where Kier put them away?
* Macen sniffs and looks uncertain
<Vedran> over here...
* Vedran shuffles over to one of the bottom shelves that still has books on it
<Vedran> here you go, all your books
* Vedran gives Aleyn an apologetic look :/
* Aleyn just shrugs and smiles.
* Macen toddles over and selects one and then pushes it at his daddy
<Macen> book!
<Vedran> okay
<Vedran> come sit with me and aleyn, and I'll read it, okay?
* Macen nods, and takes the book over to Aleyn
<Macen> Book?
<Aleyn> sure
<Aleyn> I love it when your dad tells stories.
<Aleyn> he does really good voices.
* Vedran comes back and snuggles beside Aleyn, and pulls Macen into his lap
<Vedran> oh, this one has good sounds too....
* Vedran will read... going over some pages sveral times, with funny voices and all
* Aleyn just sits and is happy with you
<Aleyn> . o O (Family <3)
<Vedran> . o O (<3)