Seeking support

After her encounter with Larache, Gen had felt rather more unsettled than usual. Fortunately, August had agreed to meet with her to talk things over. This is why she was waiting in a busy bistro early on a First-day afternoon, scrutinizing the doorway every time the door-mounted bell jingled, hoping to spot his familiar head of cloudy white hair.

She'd saved her tips from the Cellier party so that she could treat him to something, this time.

August arrived not long afterwards, and smiled at Gen as he came to join her at the table. "Good afternoon," he said warmly, and nodded to the waiter to indicate that they were ready to order. "I hope you haven't been waiting long."

Gen smiled back at the older man. "I haven't been. Thank you for making time to see me. I do appreciate it."

After the waiter took their orders and the small talk was done, Gen told August briefly about her encounter with Guydain Larache the night before.  She focused especially on the fact that Polly might be able to provide a different perspective on what had happened to her the night her prayers for the boy had been answered.

"So anyway... I'd like to track Polly down, I think, and see what she has to say. I didn't ask Larache if he knew where I could find her, because I didn't want him to know that I was interested in what she might have to say. I don't know why, really. I mean... the squad, and by extension him, were... well they were the closest thing I had to family for three years... albeit a terribly dysfunctional family. And he... well. He is frightening. I don't want to cross him, but I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if he crossed me.

"If I find Polly, I was hoping maybe you, or another of your friends, could meet her with me. I don't know what to expect, and I don't really want to do it alone.

"I'll have to start my search for Polly with veterans' affairs, I think. And that might have its... own complications. I think I'd like to have a friend with me, when I go there."

August listened to her story, nodding occasionally or interjecting with a brief question or clarification, and pausing to thank the waiter when their coffee arrived. When Gen finally concluded, he said, "Of course if you want someone to go with you, I would be willing - although Nais, as a... more recent veteran herself, might be more directly helpful. But there may be other options apart from wading into the bureaucracy if that's something you'd rather avoid - or at least, save as a last resort."

He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. "You mentioned she was an alchemist. Maybe she's working in that field somewhere in the city - it might be possible to track her down that way."

"I suppose you're right," Gen replied. She took a careful sip from her coffee. "Too bad about Dorien... if he did know her before she went to war, they probably lost touch in the intervening years. It would be easy if I could just ask him, but I don't think he's been on good terms with the alchemists' guild for a while."

"Perhaps it couldn't hurt to ask him anyway? You wouldn't need to let him know why, unless you wanted to." August tapped his fingers lightly on the table, as if working through some pattern on his strings while he thought further. "Or what about asking around some of the veterans' clubs? Finding people you met during the war is practically a growth industry now, I imagine." He hesitated, perhaps wondering whether his next suggestion was a good idea or not. "If you ran into any other members of your squad along the way, they might know where she is."

Gen nodded hesitantly. "They might. According to Larache, they all thought I was dead, though. I'm not really looking forward to awkward reunions." Gen looked pensive for a moment. "It's strange none of them knew I was in the hospital tents. I guess that explains why no one came to visit, though." Gen took another sip of her coffee. "But then he did also mention war crimes trials. I am collecting my pension, so the authorities must know I'm alive, and where I live. Surely they'd have notified me by now if they required me to stand trial? But then so much happened during the war. Even supposing pertinent records weren't destroyed in rebel attacks, or otherwise lost, it will probably take years for the bureaucracy to sort through what happened.

"That's why I would want a friend along if I have to go to veterans' affairs. I'll accept responsibility for the things I've done. But Larache... he's like a badger when he's cornered. He'd come up with the craziest plans when we were in tight fixes. They always worked. I'm probably just paranoid, but my being dead would have made me a convenient scapegoat, if he wanted to save his own ar- save himself from facing the repercussions of his actions." Remembering some of the things she'd seen him do, remembering how helpless she felt to stop him, how needing to belong somewhere had made her perhaps less inclined to speak her mind when things were happening that she didn't feel good about, Gen fought unsuccessfully to stave off her overwhelming sense of helplessness and guilt.

"I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. But I didn't do the things he did."

"I don't know about war crimes - it wasn't something they worried about so much the last time I was in a war," August said quietly. "Maybe he was just trying to shake you up."

"Maybe," Gen conceded. She already knew Larache wasn't a very decent human being. "Even so, I should probably find out for certain.

"Did you know- one of the reasons I came to Diablotin was that I just wanted to disappear. I thought: there must be so many people living there, I'll just be one among thousands. Hiding in plain sight. But my cousin found me, and now Larache, and I haven't even been here a year yet."

August smiled, sipping his coffee. "The city's large, to be sure, but people have a way of running into one another even so. Some might call it fate, but personally I think it's just that the bigger the city, the more strange coincidences are bound to happen every day."

Gen gave a slight smile back. "I wonder if anyone has calculated the probability of running into people you know in Diablotin? Some bored mathematics student at the Castalia, perhaps. Could be interesting to see." Gen emptied her mug.

"Well. I guess I'll ask Dorien about Polly, and then take things from there. If he doesn't know, I think I'll check with veterans' affairs next. I would rather find out I've been charged with heinous acts than actively seek out former squad members and have to explain things to them." Gen couldn't help but grimace. At this rate, she thought, I might as well go on radio and tell the whole world I'm alive and the herald for some crazy god who is probably laughing his or her head off at my confusion and discomfort right now. "If Larache is in touch with any of them still, I may see them soon enough anyway."