Day Dreams

Once his new “Assistant” was gone, Dorien fell back onto his couch once again.

“What the fuck am I doing?” he said with a sigh. Lit a cigarette from a nearby package and put his head in his hands.

Things had gotten so complicated… so fucked up, if he was to be totally honest. How had he let it come to this?

He took a drag on the cigarette and let his mind wander.

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“It’s beautiful…” Gen said, mouth slightly agape, “What is it?”

Dorien crept closer to the bush slowly, eyes wide. There was a soft flutter of purple and silver from the shrub.

“Danaus arcala,” he said breathlessly, “It’s an arch butterfly. I’ve never seen one before…” He put his hands out in front of him and inched forward again.

“What are you doing?” Gennie hissed from behind him.

“I’m gonna catch it. I want a closer look.”

“No! You’ll hurt it!”

“I won’t,” Dorien scoffed, “I just want to study it. I’ll let it go after.”

Suddenly the iridescent insect lifted off the bush and took wing. Dorien scrambled to run after it, with Gennie trailing behind him, looking worried.

“Careful!” she shouted as the young boy bounded along the grass between the trees of the small forest near the Doucette farmstead.

Dorien was not a strong child, but he had always been quick and agile, able to keep pace even with his taller cousin in footraces. In a few moments he had closed with the butterfly and leapt forward, cupping his hands around it carefully.

As he landed, however, his foot caught on a tree root and he went tumbling to the ground, crashing through underbrush and landing hard on his shoulder, tearing the thin fabric of his shirt on a branch.

“Uff!” he exclaimed as the wind was knocked out of him and the insect was knocked from his grasp. As he lay dazed on the ground, Gennie ran up behind him in a panic.

“You killed it!” she said, aghast.

Dorien managed to pull himself to his feet and looked around, stunned.

“No, I… I didn’t… I fell…”

Gen cupped her hands gently around something on the ground and brought it up to show him.

“You killed her… poor thing…”

Dorien peered into his cousin’s cupped hands, but instead of the butterfly, it was the tiny body of a nude woman, her long red hair cascading over her iridescent fairie wings.

“Emelinda?” Dorien asked, confused.

“You killed her…” Gennie repeated, “Just like you killed them…”

“No! I didn’t mean to… it was an accident… I never meant…”

Gennie’s hands began smoking, and then flames licked at her fingers.

“You never mean to…” she said, tears rolling from her eyes as the flames engulfed her hands and the body within them, “But you do. It’s your nature, Dorien. Misery follows in your wake.”

“No!” He shouted, backing up. The trees seemed closer now, crowding in around him. “I… I’ll fix it… I’ll go back!”

The flames were crackling now, roaring up from Gennie’s hands. The skin had charred and was falling off her bones. The smell of scorched flesh was overpowering. She reached one skeletal hand out to her cousin.

“You can’t go back, Dorien. You can never go back. You have to go forward. Take my hand…”

Hesitantly, Dorien reached out to her, felt the flames kiss his fingertips, felt his skin blister and peel.

-----------------------

“Fuck!” Dorien yelled as he bolted upright on the couch. His fingers throbbed with pain and his heart was racing in his chest. He looked down at the table and saw the glowing ember of a cigarette butt. It had burned down to his fingers, scorching them and startling him awake.

“Son of a bitch…”

He got up and got a cool, wet rag to wrap around them to take away the sting.

So much for sleep.

After her visit with August at the bistro, Gen's thoughts turned to her cousin. He'd been absent from work a lot lately, due to his father's illness. Gen had a little tip money left, enough maybe to buy something for Dorien to eat, and a little something for herself, too. Chances were good that he wouldn't be home, so she thought something cold and that would survive for a good long while outside of an icebox would be best. She settled on some little spinach turnovers. She tried one herself; it wasn't quite like the ones she had eaten back home, but it was tasty nonetheless.

Laden with her packages, she headed over to Dorien's apartment and knocked on the door.

Dorien opened the door, half expecting to see Misery, back to retrieve something she'd forgotten, but was pleasantly surprised to see Gen instead. He shook off the last vestiges of the dream and opened the door with his good hand, his other still wrapped in the wet cloth.

"Hey there. What's all that?" he asked, gesturing to the boxes she carried.

"Hi Dorien," Gen smiled warmly for her cousin. "You missed a party at the cabaret last night. Some movie star. Maybe Argent mentioned it? He and I were assigned to the private party lounge for it. Anyway, lots of tips from all his rich friends. And since I haven't seen you at work much at all, I figured you must still be worried about your father. So I brought you some spinach turnovers... I hope you like spinach." Gen looked suddenly a little worried, in case he did not, in fact, like spinach, and her good intentions were all for naught. In spite of her misgivings, she held one bag out as an offering to Dorien.

Her eyes fell to Dorien's wrapped hand. "What happened?"

Dorien glanced at his hand.

"Oh, just being stupid. I burned myself a bit. Nothing serious. Come on in. As it so happens, I'm a great fan of sponach turnovers."

He smiled and opened the door for his cousin, helping her with her packages.

"I know I haven't been around the cabaret much. Hopefully that will change soon. The doctors say my father should be okay to go home any day now."

Gen looked rather concerned upon hearing that Dorien had burned himself, but something about his demeanor must have reassured her, for she didn't pursue the matter. One of her bags clinked gently as she set it down carefully on the floor near the door .

"That's really good news about your father. I'm glad he's pulled through," she smiled. "You're missed at the cabaret. Hugo doesn't think anyone noticed that he sold some Onyx to one of the people at the party last night. I doubt Titania would be pleased, if she knew. The sooner you can get back, the better." Gen's tone when speaking of Dorien's line of business was carefully neutral. "I'm just glad they didn't use enough to start acting up."

"Shit, I'm gone for a few days and suddenly everyone starts getting delusions of disrepute. Tell them all not to worry, the man with the jive will be back soon enough."

Dorien grinned and opened the bag, realizing as he did so that he was famished. The wonderful scent of freshly fried turnovers was heavenly.

"Have I told you that you're a life saver?"

"Only for a select few." Gen was surprised and pleased by Dorien's apparent good spirits. "Eat up. I admit I already ate one on my way over. I had to make sure they tasted good. Do you have a few minutes? I do tend to drop by without announcement - a hazard of not having a telephone - so I understand if you are busy or were just on your way out."

"Busy? No. Slightly tipsy, half awake, a bit singed, and famished, yes. But not especially busy. For once. I took a nap and had an... odd... dream. I think. It's all kind of fuzzy now. Something about butterflies and fire..."

Dorien sighed.

"I think I may just be giddy with exhaustion. I haven't really slept well in weeks..."

He smiled as genuinely as he could at the moment.

"But do you know, I always feel better when you come visit. Especially with turnovers. What's on your mind?"

Gen's smile this time was bittersweet, sympathetic with his lack of sleep. "I'll try to make it quick so you can try to sleep again. One of the guests at the party was another veteran, one from my own squad. He mentioned that a comrade of ours saw what happened to me, but she wouldn't tell the rest of them. I would like to try to find her because she might tell me. Do you know someone named Polly Hayn? She's an alchemist, so I thought you might have met her sometime. Maybe you even know where she might once have liked to spend her time."

Dorien sat forward, listening to his cousin's story.

"Hayn... Hayn. Sounds familiar. I seem to remember hearing her name come up once or twice while I was apprenticing. Let me go check my old notes."

Dorien got up and went to his room, returning a minute or so later with a small, worn notebook which he was flipping through.

"Yes. Polly Hayn. I have her listed as a possible contact, but it's been so long I don't really remember why. According to my notes, she was apprenticed to a M. Audejans. Niklaus Audejans, I believe, or maybe Niklos. Something like that. If memory serves he was an herbalist. Specialized in plants and extracts and such. He was an associate of my Master, Mme. Sormet."

Dorien bit his lip in thought.

"Sorry, it's been a while. If you want, I could probably get you in contact with my old master. She might know where you could find her. Or we could try to track down Audejans. There's only so many places a man of his particular skill set could be working... unless of course he's retired by now. You might even ask your sorceror friend in the Castalia if he's heard of him."

"I wouldn't call him a friend, exactly. Also, there are no guarantees that M. Orecalo would have anything to do with him... they are in different fields of study, and he struck me as a rather... taciturn individual. So probably best to only try M. Orecalo if your other leads fail to produce any results.

"Which course of the remaining two do you believe would be most effective?"

Dorien bit into a turnover and shrugged.

"Not sure. How soon do you need to find this person?"

"It's not a life or death situation, of course. No real urgency, except that I really don't know what I am or what I'm supposed to be or why I'm here, alive, today, instead of any number of people who certainly deserve it a great deal more than I do. I don't actually expect I'll ever know the answers to all those questions about myself, but the pursuit of that knowledge is important to me. Not to mention: it feels good to be actively doing something instead of just waiting for answers that might never come. "

Dorien nodded somberly. If anyone could sympathize with Gen's need to know why she was still alive, it was him.

When his accident happened, he had been two feet from the explosion. He was, after all, the one who had mixed it. Both of his colleagues were further away than he was, yet he survived and they didn't. What did that mean? What did it say about the universe that they had died for his mistake and he was still here? What kind of gods would allow that?

"One of the things you learn as a scientist..." he said, eventually, "Is that not all the answers we get are ones that we wanted. But if you really want to find her, then I suggest we go pay a visit to Mme. Sormet. If nothing else, she'll know where we can find Audejans, and it's probably been too long since I've called on her anyway. She's a good person, if a bit odd. You'll like her."

Gen raised one eyebrow questioningly. She had not gone to the Castalia like Dorien had, of course, but her parents had both been scientists and had raised her to be one, too. Dorien's words seemed rather patronizing, but she could forgive him that.

Gen generally did like odd people, so it was amusing to her that Dorien had drawn that connection, intentionally or not. "Birds of a feather, hmm? All right. When would you be willing and able to go?"

Dorien sighed. That was the question, wasn't it. There wasn't enough time for anything lately.

"As soon as dad's out. Maybe this weekend? I'll find the time somewhere."



(OOC: Just as an aside, Dorien never went to the Castalia )

"Okay, but only if you're really, truly up to it. Like I said, it's not that urgent, and I don't really want to add to your stress.Take some time for yourself if you need to.

(OOC: Ooops! Sorry. Now the question is what scene will Julia have us do this weekend? Telling your mom about my mom, or going to visit alchemists...)