You're stuck with me

Gen knew that Dorien had been anxious about her interrogation and the possibility that she might be executed, so she made arrangements to meet with him the day afterward. She chose an inexpensive cafe where they could have supper before proceeding to the cabaret together.

They made small talk in between deciding what to eat. It was a little surreal and Dorien was obviously anxious to get to the important part, so as soon as they had placed their order she told him what she figured was the most important news for him. "Well, I assume you've figured out that we wouldn't be talking today if they thought I'd done anything really out of line. So I won't be killed any time soon. You're stuck with me. Told you."

She wasn't sure how her attempt at humour would be taken, since she wasn't really feeling humourous. Still, how else could one tackle such topics?

Dorien nodded, seemingly relieved.

"So that's it, then? You're a free woman?"

"Until they need me to testify against someone else, yes, apparently I am. But I'm not to leave the city, in case of that eventuality, so the term 'free' is somewhat of an overstatement. And for saving an enemy combatant's life they have relieved me of my army pension, if that helps you feel like the whole proceeding is now that much more complete."

Dorien frowned. He knew that Gen had been living hand to mouth as it was.

"They took your pension away? Are you gonna be okay with just your pay from the cabaret?"

Gen sighed. "I could probably manage, if I didn't have to buy drinks. I've been working with Mlle.  Scales to try to stop, but we're doing it gradually. She said that stopping abruptly is not wise. I knew about the health risks already, but apparently the probability of recidivism is also much higher." Gen paused to collect her thoughts. "I'm probably going to have to give up my boarding house room. I haven't been staying there much lately, anyway. I can't say I miss it, either.

"So I guess I have been re-thinking your mother's offer of letting me stay there. It wouldn't be convenient for work, but I think that now that I really have to try to rebuild something of a life, a stable family sort of environment is what I might need to get started. But I'm concerned about adding to their burden. I don't want to upset Oncle Jerard's recovery with my own, or add to Tante Sylvise's stress. Or maybe... infringe on your feelings, maybe, somehow. So... do you think this whole idea is utterly inadvisable?"

"I think... it's the best idea I've heard in a long time." Dorien said, "My parents aren't the easiest to live with sometimes, but they do care. And it would probably do father good to have someone else around. If nothing else, I'm sure mother would love the company. And you know that if you ever need anything you can come to me, right?"

Gen smiled slightly. "I know. But... are you certain it wouldn't be too much for your parents? I often have horrible nightmares and I wake up screaming. Sometimes they happen when I'm awake, too. And sometimes, I just can't control my temper. I already told Tante Sylvise about my drinking, so she is at least aware of that." Gen's expression was troubled. "I'll need to keep working with Mlle. Scales, as well. Sometimes it might be a good thing if she could come over to wherever I am living, if I'm having trouble with the drinking or The One. Would that bother your parents?

"I'm almost as much trouble as a baby," Gen added as a sad afterthought.

"I think you'll be surprised at how much my parents can handle. They've been through their share of life. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you. And so would I if you ever need a break from them. I... I don't know where I'll be in a few months, but you're always welcome wherever I am."

"Well, I'll let them know about all the lovely extras they'll get with me, and ask them to think carefully about their decision. I don't want them to resent me. Thanks for your thoughts and advice, Dorien.

"So how have you been lately? I haven't seen much of you since I was staying at your place."

The food arrived, and Gen fastidiously spread her napkin on her lap as she waited for Dorien's reply.

Dorien picked up his sandwich, ignoring the little cloth napkin, and took a bite thoughtfully.

"I've been good," he said after chewing for a minute, "I think... Misery has been really good for me. And yes, I know the irony in that statement. I'm worried about this job that my father has lined up for me, but I suppose anything is better than... than what I do now."

"You know what your mother said to me when I expressed my shame and embarrassment at clearing tables? She said that I was doing what I needed to do to survive, and she was proud of me. I hope I won't always be clearing tables, but for now it's all I can manage. While making and selling... your product... is somewhat different from clearing tables, you've been doing it to survive, just like me. I'm glad you feel ready to move on.

"She was happy when she heard that you were training an apprentice with the intent of starting a new job, you know." Gen smiled encouragingly. "So, what is the job?"

"At least what you're doing to survive is honest work. I don't think she'd be quite so proud in my case."

Dorian sighed and poked at his sandwich.

"It's a factory job. R&D at a rubber plant. It should be enough to pay the bills, and it's research, which will give me an outlet. But I'm just worried about so many things. What if I can't do it? What if I hurt someone again? And most importantly, what's gonna happen to Misery? I just wish life would be simple for once."

"Sounds like a decent job to me. As to all your self-doubt... In basic training the underlying lesson we were to learn was 'don't think too much about anything - just do it.' I never really learned it because I can't stop thinking, and normally I wouldn't advise it. But you and I are very much alike, I daresay, in that we tend to overthink everything.

"In this case, I think that lesson taught in basic training might indeed prove very valuable. You're a trained alchemist, Dorien. You've been mixing complex... products for a while now without having any issues, have you? So don't think about it; just do it. It will turn out fine. I'm sure of it.

"As for Misery, I'm sure she'll do fine, too. You'll have made sure of that. Besides, Argent and I will still be at the cabaret; we can keep an eye on her for you when you're not able to drop by the cabaret yourself to see how she's making out."

Dorien chuckled.

"Why is it every time I try to comfort you it ends up with you comforting me instead? I know it's a good idea, and I'm going to try. Misery has also been trying to reassure me about it. I would appreciate you two keeping an eye on her, though. It would make me feel better. I'm gonna try to talk to Mme. Sormet and see if she can find room for Misery as an apprentice. It would be hard work for her, but I know she can do it, and it would give her legitimate experience that she could use to get out of there eventually."

"See, I knew you'd have everything well in hand."

The conversation turned to other topics, and after paying for their food, Gen and Dorien headed back out into the cold and to work.