Homecoming

Ronnie sat in the passenger seat of the beat up Volkswagen as Bea sped down the highway, leaving the carnage and chaos of the party behind them. It wasn't a long drive to their apartment, but the silence made the seconds stretch into minutes.

Ronnie hadn't said a word since the police had finished questioning her. She simply stared out the window, the passing lights of the city reflecting off her sky-blue eyes. Her borrowed dress and shaking hands were still caked with blood, and her hair was scattered and mussed.

She didn't seem to even notice as they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex.

Bea parked the car quietly, and went around to the passenger side, opening the door and unbuckling the seatbelt that she had fastened only moments before.

"Come on, Ronnie, ups-a-daisy," she muttered, trying to hide her worry, and hauled the still-bloody girl to her feet. "Just a little bit more and you can take a nice shower and go to bed, okay? Just a little bit farther."

Ronnie looked up and saw Bea standing in front of her and glanced around, as if only now realizing where she was. She closed her eyes tightly and opened them again got to her feet with Bea's help.

"It's... it's ok." she said quietly as Bea tried to lift her to her feet "I'm ok."

She started walking slowly but steadily towards the stairs leading up to the apartment, leaning slightly on Bea's shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, and Bea couldn't be totally sure it was her that she was talking to.

Bea frowned slightly, and looked around at the empty parking lot. "Okay, I'm just gonna make this easy." She tucked one arm under her friend's knees, the other around her torso, and hauled her up into a fireman's hold, before taking a small leap up to the concrete patio that marked their apartment door. Setting her down gently, Bea fished in her pockets for the keys.

Ronnie didn't fight or protest as Bea swept her up into her arms, but as she jumped up to the apartment patio, Ronnie felt her stomach rolling with vertigo. Bea set her down gently and it took a few seconds before the rolling wave of nausea subsided enough for her to stand without leaning on her roommate.

Bea opened the door and together they stumbled into the living room. Ronnie's hand instinctively reached out and flipped the switch on the wall, turning on the overhead lights that illuminated the small apartment.

"Thank you, Bea..." Ronnie said, "I'll be fine, I just need to..."

She paused. Her eyes which had been wandering and slightly tired were now wide and focused on the area that had once been Ronnie's spotless kitchen.

Pots, pans, and utensils were piled in the sink. The counters were smeared with a myriad mix of stains, carbonized food, and other unidentifiable battle scars. On the stove several pans were abandoned, some charred, others worse. Ronnie's aluminum saucier held the remains of some sort of tomato based dish, while her cast iron skillet looked as though it had been used to caramelize something... onions maybe.

Ronnie simply stared at the mess, her head slightly tilted, as though she wasn't really sure what it was she was seeing; as though the information simply wasn't registering in her brain.

"Yeah, um, about the kitchen. I'll get that in the morning, I just wasn't thinking near well enough to start to fix it this morning." She tried to gently herd her friend back towards the bedroom, taking her gently by the elbow and hoping silently that Ronnie's trauma would blot this out, too, as she'd hoped it would take away the memory of Indigo's body in her arms. Shit, why hadn't she cleaned this up before she'd gone running this morning?

For a moment Ronnie allowed herself to be lead, although her eyes would not look away from the carnage of the kitchen. But as the reality slowly sunk in, her eyes started to water and a small, helpless whimper escaped her lips.

With a sudden jerk she wrenched herself free of Bea's soft grip and flung herself towards the kitchen.

"NO!" she screamed as she ran the few yards separating her from the stove. She crashed into it and found that her legs would no longer obey her. They buckled and she fell to her knees, her hand wrapped around the handle of the heavy cast-iron skillet, which clanged to the floor next to her sending a puddle of onion and god-only-knows what else spilling across the floor.

Ronnie was crying now, heavy, primal tears that rolled down her face as she slumped against the stove on her knees.

Bea winced as Ronnie hit the floor, muttering a quick "Oh, balls," before going to comfort her friend. She threw her arms around Ronnie's shoulders and squeezed her hard, patted her back and tried desperately to think of what her moms would do in this situation, only to come up blank. Running on default, she rocked Ronnie back and forth like a child, shushing softly and petting her hair.

For a long while the two friends knelt together on the kitchen floor, Bea rocking Esperanza back and forth while she sobbed.

Finally, when her eyes hurt from crying and her face was red and flushed, Esperanza leaned her head against Bea's shoulder and whimpered softly.

"I..." she said, but it was a few seconds before she could continue as a new wave of sobbing shook her body, "I couldn't... help him... Oh god... I'm so sorry..."