Shop Talk

It was pretty easy to get away early at lunch on Tuesday, telling Addie that she'd see her in class a bit later.

Lil knew Noah had been at school at least, and she'd considered trying to pin him down after Stage management, but this seemed like it would be a better opportunity to talk to him alone - if she was right. Warily, she approached the back entrance of the machine shop and looked around. Not seeing anyone immediately, she pushed the door open a little further and stepped inside.

"Noah?"

"Under here, Lil," came Noah's tired-sounding reply from under a car on the far side of the shop. Tools lay on the ground around the creeper he was laying on, and, from the sounds of effort, he seemed pretty focused on whatever he was doing. Or, at the very least, he wanted it to look that way.

She spotted the legs sticking out from the car after a moment and wandered over, picking her way through through various mechanical bricabrac. Lacking an other obvious options, she nudged some tools out of the way and plonked herself down on a relatively clean patch of ground. leaning over, she peered underneath the car's carriage to see if she could get a better look.

"Hey, man."

Noah was deep in the innards of the Ford Taurus, a wrench and a pair of pliers adjusting God (and, hopefully, Noah) knows what in the undercarriage. He gave a short nod of his head without looking to acknowledge Lil.

"Hey," he offered lamely. After a brief pause to consider which to ask after first, he added, "How's Addie?"

After deciding he probably wasn't going to look back, Lil sat back up, stretching her shoulders. "She's okay, got herself all patched up. I guess it wasn't really as bad as it looked, and she's talking about getting some real ink to cover the scars." She paused after a brief moment, judging it just long enough for him to absorb but before he could answer. "Dude, how are *you*?"

A dozen answers flitted through Noah's mind, glib, angry, dismissive. In the end, he knew Lil wouldn't let him get off that easily, so he went with questioning.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah. Honestly."

Noah pushed himself out from under the car, then pushed himself into a sitting position leaning back. He paused a moment to listen, making sure no one else was near enough to overhear.

"I spent my Saturday burying a girl I killed, then the rest of the weekend drinking trying to forget that fact. That's how I am."

Lil nodded - that was pretty much what she figured, but now she wasn't sure exactly what direct to take things. "It's a shitty deal man. But... can I say thank you? Not for the drinking to forget, but the rest of it."

Noah's face fell, a mixture of pleading hurt and self-directed anger. He only held Lil's gaze a moment before looking away.

"Please, just...don't."

"Okay... but, why not? You know how fucked we all would have been."

Noah took a moment to answer.

"Yeah, I guess so. Something good came out of it, at least."

"Yes, it did. Big time. I mean - I don't freak out easy, but that got way out of hand really fast and things could have gone a lot worse for all of us if you weren't there. I know its a lot to put on you though, and you probably have a lot of shit to sort out for yourself. But like, if you need to drink to forget, man, you don't have to do it alone. If you need people to talk to, we're around. Maybe we don't have answers, but at least we're here, okay?"

Noah looked up, giving Lil a strange look.

"This is the nicest I think I've ever heard you be to someone. What gives?"

Lil scowled back. "I'm nice. Well, when people deserve it, anyway."

"Well, then, I appreciate the effort, but I think you're wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

If he was going to say wrong about deserving her being nice to him, she might have to smack him.

"About me being a person."

Lil stared at him for a moment. "Really? Really dude?"

"Lil, I ripped that girl's throat out. And I...I wanted to. I kept clawing at her, I kept..."

Noah's face and voice grew more desperate.

"If David hadn't pulled me off her, I don't know what I would have done. Or if you guys hadn't left right then. I wasn't...I wasn't done. If David had stuck around longer..."

He hung his head.

"I've always been able to handle it so far. Its kind of a rush, and I tend to...wolf out, or whatever, when I'm angry, but I've always been in control. That night, I wasn't. It was in charge, whatever it is that makes me...that thing."

He gave a small, desperate, bitter laugh.

"And then I went and tried to black it out. Two days, and I became the two things I've never wanted to be."

"You did things, Noah. They don't have to like... be who you are. Or what you are. Aren't there people in your family you can talk to about this stuff? The wolf stuff?"

She didn't know much about it, but she made a note to look more into werewolves, and get David to help too. She also considered telling him she'd wanted to tear that thing's throat out too, but she didn't know if it would actually help.

"I tried talking to my dad some, but he's too scared of my grandpa to tell me much. He mostly just gave me booze, but that's kind of his solution to everything. There's a reason I live with my mom."

"Can't you talk to your grandpa? I know you said they were gonna wait until you were older to let you in on more shit, but it if is a problem now, maybe that would change? Or, shit. There has to be stuff that's written about it, real stuff, somewhere. We can look into it on our own. Maybe Mr. Winters can help us make like.. a charm or something that will help you calm down if you need to."

"I don't want to talk to him about this," Noah replied. "My grandpa, I mean."

Noah took a moment to continue.

"I called him after you guys left. My family, the...pack, they know how to handle this sort of thing. He was...he was proud, Lil. Excited. Said he was impressed with my 'first kill.'"

He looked up, directly at Lil.

"'First.' Meaning there's going to be more. And, at the rate we're going, that seems likely."

"Okay. So. Noah - you know, we were all trying to kill her. It. This isn't all on you. Maddison killed that giant gnome thing - does that not count just because it didn't pretend to be human first? It was going to eat David. I don't know what this thing wanted with Matt but, like - you saw his scars. You know it wasn't good. That's the part that makes her a monster, right, not just because she had two mouths and tentacles.

I get that not being in control of yourself was scary. But you did stop, and you made sure that everyone got away when you weren't sure you were okay, right? You did. And if you don't want to talk to your grandpa or like... I don['t know, if your mom knows anything? But you still don't have to figure this shit out on your own. That's stupid, and if it doesn't work, who'll have your back?"