Making (another) first move

(Text from Madison to Noah, around the end of the week after homecoming)

Hey so...

Are you just going to ignore me from now on or what?

(Text from Noah)

More like avoiding until I know what to say. You're hard to ignore.

Well figure out what to say, because I want to talk. It's stupid to keep going on like this, plus extra awkward.

Where/when?

[delay while Madison thinks about that for a few minutes]

Guess you're not going to the party at Drew's tonight.

Want to go for a drive instead? You can pick me up like in half an hour?

Can it be an hour? I kind of have to put some parts back into the engine before I can come pick you up.

Sure... as long as you actually show up, I'll be there

Noah hurried to install the new parts he'd bought, largely for something to keep busy with. He had just enough time to shower and change before he headed out. Sometimes, it was a real boon, Ashland being so small. He made it to the Emery's with five minutes to spare.

He considered texting Madison, but, however this turned out, he figured he owed it to Madison to do this right. Getting out of his truck, he walked to the front door, with not a little trepidation. With any luck, it would just be Madison answering.

Madison had spent most of the hour figuring out what to wear - something that would look casual, like she hadn't just spent an hour getting ready. After trying on several skirts and rejecting them as too dressy, or too flirty, she finally settled on a short, pale yellow dress layered over a pair of black tights, and a sweater for warmth [editor's note: something like this]. She put her hair up in a loose knot, and then had a few minutes to put on a little bit of makeup - not too much, though, so it wouldn't look like she thought this was a real date or something.

When Noah knocked at the door she ran over to open it, but made herself walk the last few steps so she wouldn't seem overly eager. "Hey," she said, as casually as she could. "You found the place okay, then?" She smiled just a little to let him know she was half-teasing, not really super-mad at him still.

Noah paused in the doorway, having to put some mental effort into not staring. This...this was why he'd been avoiding Madison. It was a lot harder to convince himself they shouldn't be together when she wasn't present, looking like that.

"Yeah," he managed a beat too late. "Yeah, I'm starting to find my way all right."

He gave a small smile, not sure now what his plan was.

"Any idea where you want to go?"

"I don't know, I thought we could just go get lost somewhere," said Madison, smiling. "Someplace where we could talk, you know?"

"Well, the park is right out," Noah commented, offering some levity. "You want to drive out to the reservoir? Its got nice trails, if you're serious about getting lost for a while."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," Madison said. "At least we could walk around some until it gets dark." The thought of being out alone in the dark with Noah was sort of distractingly exciting, but she tried not to think about that right now. Instead she stepped out, shutting the door behind her. "ready?"

Noah at least managed not to reply with, 'As I'll ever be,' instead defaulting to a careful smile and nod towards his truck. He let Madison go first, which did at least let him get in a good stare without being caught.

He considered turning on the radio as they drove, to cover the fact that he didn't know how to start, but he didn't want to seem rude. Instead, he prepared to endure however long Madison was going to wait before showing mercy and going first.

Madison kept quiet for a while, looking out the window or glancing momentarily at Noah before looking away again. For all the thought she'd given this conversation, she wasn't sure how to start. "It was a pretty good dance," she said eventually, "but not great. You didn't miss anything totally amazing."

Noah gave a quick glance over, silently disagreeing, but worried what would happen if he started off like that. Still, honestly seemed like the best way to go, so...

"I don't want to upset you by disagreeing right off, but I think I you may be wrong about that last part," he said with a wistful half-smile.

Madison blushed, smiling. "Well, okay..." She tried to push on despite feeling warm and a bit flustered. "I'm not upset anymore, not really. I mean, I still wish things had gone differently, but I know it was pretty crazy then, so I'm willing to overlook some bad decisions. Mostly I've been worried about you. Are you doing all right?" she turned to look at him, concerned.

Right. Honesty.

"Not...not really. Saturday really terrified me. Not...Janey, though she was scary enough. But the way it ended, the way I felt after...I didn't feel like me."

He frowned, keeping his eyes on the road.

"The other week, when your mom's necklace took over you or whatever...do you remember any of it?"

"Bits and pieces," she said hesitantly. "It's like moving through fog. Once in a while something will get clear enough that I can make it out, but then it fades away again. Mostly the feelings - angry, and jealous, and like I just had to get away..." She shrugged. "But even with that, it's hard to know how much of it was just my own feelings, and how much was from ... her, or the necklace, or whatever."

"The stuff with Janey, with after...I remember all of it, but I still wasn't in the driver's seat. Anger, or hate, or...I don't have a word for it. I didn't think I had that in me, I didn't think people had that in them."

Noah frowned.

"I'm still not sure they do, no matter what Lil says."

So he'd been talking to Lil about it? Madison made a mental note of that. "You don't think... you're a person?" she asked cautiously.

"No, not...not really. I mean, its something I'm worried about, but I figure its something I have to figure out in the long run."

Noah sighed in frustration; it was going to be a while before he was okay with...all that.

"Lil came and bugged me in shop earlier in the week, basically to tell me this was stupid and I was being stupid. And she was right, I guess, but...I don't know."

He made a pained face, casting a quick glance at Madison.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, Madison."

She nodded, listening. "I don't really know how the whole deal works for you... is it like, full moon stuff, or can it happen anytime, or only when you want it to? Is it something you can control, or learn to control, I guess I mean?"

"Up 'til now I'd been able to control it. Its easier during the full moon, I mean, I first changed during one, but I can usually do it whenever. Its kind of a rush, really."

"But this time... it was different. I mean, I changed, and I think I wanted to change, but it was like I wasn't me, or a different me, or something. I haven't changed since, just in case."

"Well... you were really angry then. So was I. I would have killed that thing too if I could have," Madison said, trying to reassure him somehow. "I know it's not the same, I didn't... change or anything, but... she - it, whatever - was trying to kill us, after all. I don't know what else we could have done. For what it's worth, I'm glad you were there, and you could help. I hope I wasn't getting in your way too much in the fight, I just really wanted that thing off you."