Avon Calling...

The doorbell at the Fraulein's laboratory/house rang once.

Whoever answered the door would see a young brunette woman in a light grey business suit with a name badge proclaiming "Hello! I'm Linda!". She carried a briefcase labelled "samples" in one hand and wore a smile that would light up a room.

Deep beneath the comfortable suburban home, an insistent chime rang. The Fraulein sighed in annoyance and switched off her blowtorch and raised her welder's mask. Walking to the control desk by the stairs, she flipped a switch and one of the blank screens came to life. "Computer: BioScan," she ordered, and then [i]hmmm'd[i/]. "Radioactivity is a bit high for a sales girl..." She nodded sharply, decision made, and flipped her mask back down. "Sigfried, answer that please."

A gangly automaton wheeled squeakily to the foyer and opened the front door. Two cylindrical eyes blinked from the circumference inward, like the shutter of a camera, and a thick jaw wrapped around the bottom of his mechanical face gave the appearance of smiling. He was wearing a modified tuxedo jacket, and he inclined his head politely. "Gr-gr-greeeetings. How may I help youuuu?"

Without missing a beat at seeing the large metal man open the door, the salesgirl answered bubbly.

"Hello sir and/or madam. Is the lady of the house at home?"

Presently her skin and clothes began to shift and crawl, and moments later John was standing where she had been, briefcase still clutched in one had.

"I have an incredible one time offer for her that I don't think she'll want to miss."

Sigfried nodded, and gestured inside. "My-my mistress is d-downstairs. Please f-follow meeee."

Double Agent smiled and followed a few steps behind as the robot trundled itself across the carpeted floor of the clean, comfortable looking house. They went through the living room and into the kitchen to a small door which the robot opened. As he did so a light came on illuminating a long stairway with a large dumbwaiter next to it.

"Thank you, kind sir." Double Agent said and nodded to the robot as he started down the stairs.

Sigfried loaded himself onto the dumbwaiter, pulling a cord which slowly chug-chug-chugged down to the bottom of the simple cellar. Rows of shelves filled with glass jars of pickled cabbage and homemade apple butter, seed potatoes and iris bulbs, filled the room. The mechanical man wheeled across the cement floor and tapped a quick sequence into the radon detector, and a rectangle of light appeared as a portion of the wall swung away to reveal a bright hallway. "Th-this way, please."

Double Agent walked passed the rows of cans and jars, nodding with approval. He admired a woman who could cook. So few of them really could these days. And with the obvious sophistication level of Fraulein's security system and butler, that wasn't her only impressive talent.

He entered the rectangle of light, following close behind the robot butler, eventually emerging into Fraulein's hidden workshop.

"Doctor Fraulein, I presume?" he said when he saw her, "Pack your best gizmos. We've got a small window of opportunity, and I intend to exploit it to the fullest. The Phoenix Force is vulnerable. If we want to spring the Giggler it has to be now."

The Fraulein hummed to herself as she neatly folded her heavy leather apron and hung it on a peg, and switched out her welder's mask for her uniform goggles. There wasn't time enough to both prepare her work bag and switch into her full outfit, so she settled for a multi-pocketed long coat and was just tucking the last few supplies she might need into it when dear Sigfried escorted Double Agent into the workroom.

"Hello, John. Welcome to my home - I would give you a tour, but quite frankly I didn't invite you here, and I am a bit put out that you couldn't even do me the courtesy of asking where I live instead of getting it from the files." She waved her hands before her face, wafting the irritation away, "But no matter. Urgency I understand. Come, I have already packed."

She took the small bag by the handle, and walked with Double Agent back towards the cellar door. Before she opened it, she turned to the robot, who followed at a polite distance. "Sigfried, watch the house while I am gone, and don't forget to check on the roast. I don't want it drying out like last time." Nodding in satisfaction, she looked over at John. "Shall we?"

John smiled and cocked his elbow, offering it to the Fraulein as they began walking back upstairs.

"And here I thought you'd be impressed by my expediency. I love your house, by the way. It's very much Donna Reed meets Doctor Doom."

The Fraulein rolled her eyes and fished in her pockets for a silver cigarette case. She popped one into her mouth and cupped her hands around it as she lit it with a plain wooden match. "Doom is a gypsy dog. If you're trying to flatter me, at least compare me to someone other than that petty tinkerer."

Double Agent's smile only widened as he lowered his spurned elbow and accompanied the Fraulein upstairs, lighting his own cigarette as he did so. If he was at all perturbed by her negative reaction, not a single feature showed it.

"Why, Faulein, I never flatter. I merely state my observations. I trust you have suitable transportation?"

She sighed. "What, you walked here? Flew, perhaps? Fine, we'll take my car, it's less conspicuous that however you got here." She walked out to the garage, where the doors rose up to reveal a jet-black BMW, a pinnacle of german engineering. "Hop in."

Double Agent paused for just a moment in his stride. He had been expecting something more in the way of a giant mech with rocket launcher hands or perhaps a radar invisble super jet. As impressive and sleek as the BMW was, he couldn't help feeling a little let down as he got in.

"Nice car" he said as he strapped his seatbelt on, "If we hurry, we can get there before the fireworks start."

Edith hid a small smile, and bucked herself into the sleek piece of machinery. She placed her thumb over the ignition, and grimaced lightly when a needle pricked it, the tiny drop of blood confirming her identity and letting her through the security system. She pulled back on the steering wheel and smoothly jerked the stick shift, pulling out of the driveway and shooting down the street like a bullet.

Double Agent was momentarily surprised as the sudden G-force pushed him back against his seat.The car was certainly impressive.

"Less conspicuous, eh?" he said to her with a smirk.

The Fraulein grinned wickedly. "Oh my yes. Much less." She zoomed along, swerving around cars and pedestrians with ease, and soon the Phoenix Force headquarters came into view.

~ Move to other thread ~