Change of plans

He nodded, but he was still pressed by anxieties he couldn't quiet put in to words. On the one hand - yes, he was going to be a lot more involved, and aware of the potential issues this time. But they were losing a lot of time that would make a lot of this care more feasible. "It's just so fast... But I want to do it right."

"I know. That's why it's important that we talk about all of this now, and keep talking about it and working on it and dealing with problems as they come up. And that's a big part of why I feel like I ought to stay, because what happens in the next couple of months is going to set the tone for our future. That and... I want to be there for you, because I know it's not going to be easy on you and I don't want you to have to do it alone. And I don't think anyone else would appreciate me subjecting them to weeks of me moping around or not being able to concentrate on anything because I'm worried about you," he added with a self-deprecating shrug.

"So... the first thing I thought of that might help make things easier, I thought of because I was thinking about looking at new places to live anyway. And I thought, maybe we could live near one another, because then - especially with kids and everything - it wouldn't be as hard to see each other regularly. I don't know how feasible it is, because I guess you'll probably be living up the hill, maybe in Overlook or something, and I don't think I can afford that. But maybe I could manage somewhere like the area your mother lives in, where at least some of the houses aren't giant mansions," he suggested hopefully. "Maybe we can look into that?"

He nodded slowly - it would be good, and it would make sense. "I'll ask my mother." She might know more about the neighborhoods, or who to talk to about finding a place there. "But you'll need servants if you live up there, just to take care of everything..."

"I hadn't thought about that, beyond maybe someone to help out with the kids," Aleyn said, worried. "I don't have a good sense of how much that would cost, I guess, I was just thinking about scraping enough together for the house itself. Maybe I can't afford it after all..."

Vedran shook his head. "I can help you with that, don't worry about it... but it will be an adjustment."

"Oh!" Aleyn hadn't expected that, and it was a little worrying to think about everything it entailed - not being as financially independent, learning to live in a part of the city where he still felt out of place just visiting, even the very idea of having servants - but on the other hand, it would make the logistics a lot easier in some respects, and it was touching that Vedran was willing to help. "I... thanks, I appreciate the offer. I know I'm asking you to make adjustments - the least I can do is be willing to make some too."

"Um... another thought, and I don't know how you would feel about this, but I wonder if it might help you to consult with someone - someone other than me - in the church of Sehanine about your... your personal problems. If you hate the idea, then I'm not at all insisting you do it, but there are some good people there who have a lot of experience and training helping with troubles of that sort, without getting judgmental or weird or whatever, and of course they are very good at keeping secrets. It might help you in ways I can't, I don't know. But if you would rather keep working on them just with me, I'm obviously willing - I think we've been doing pretty well together," he added with a fond smile and a hug.

His first instinct was to say no right away. They had been making good progress, ans if they still had a few months.... well it would be a different matter. More help to feel ready might be worth trying. "...I'll think about it? But, how would I do that?"

"Well, usually people just come to the temple and sometimes it can take a while for them to even acknowledge they have a problem, and then a while longer to get hooked up with the right person to help them.... I mean, it's not a really formal process, but I've seen it work successfully before. But fortunately, you know a man on the inside," Aleyn said with a smile. "I could put you directly in touch with someone - I have a couple folks in mind who I think would be good, depending on if you think you'd feel more comfortable talking to a man or a woman. And it can be just talking," he added hastily, "but that's really up to you."

His eyes went wide and he froze, not having considered...other possibilities. "I... i don't know..."

"Oh, no, I just meant - it's totally fine if it's just talking, no one will expect you to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you were worried about that. I'm sorry I didn't explain that well."

Vedran nodded, slightly reassured but still uncertain. "I'll think about it," he repeated.

"Okay," said Aleyn, holding him close. "If you do decide you want to try it, just let me know and I'll help get everything set up." He sat up a little, reaching for the bottle of wine, and took a drink - the contents were getting surprisingly low - before offering it to Vedran.

"Okay," he said, but shoot his head at the offer of more wine - his stomach had had about as much of that as he could handle, especially not without something more substantial in his stomach. He sat up a little. "I will think about it, I promise. But I think that's all I can handle for right now."

"All the wine, or all the talking?" Aleyn asked with a smile, sitting up too, the bottle still hanging loosely in his hand.

"Both, I think. I guess if we're staying, we shoudl tell the others. I think Agyness is planning to stay and coordinate some of the more military stuff, too... so I guess all three of us can be around for the Groboshka Blooding Ceremony?"

"Right. I hope they won't be too pissed off at me for backing out," Aleyn said with a sigh. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and went to set the bottle of wine down on the dresser, but didn't quite make it - the bottle fell to the floor and shattered, despite his efforts to catch it. "Fuck!" He bent to pick up the pieces and hissed, promptly dropping the ones he'd gathered, clutching the base of his hand.

"Careful," Vedran said, just a little too late as he sat up to help, then grabbing his handkerchief from his pocket. "Here, let me see - is it bad?"

Aleyn grimaced as he held out his left hand, bleeding from a cut at the base of the thumb. "It'll be okay," he said, "but it stings." He let Vedran press his handkerchief to it for a few moments, hoping to stem the bleeding, then winced when he lifted it briefly to get a better look at the damage. The cut was clean, at least, and, he couldn't help but notice, made a perfect crescent-moon shape. "...sign..." he murmured under his breath.

"Hmm?" Vedran looked up from making sure there was no glass left in the wound.

Aleyn looked up at him shyly. "I ... I had asked Sehanine for a sign that I was doing the right thing... with all of this, with you."

Vedran's gaze flicked briefly back to the blood-soaked handkerchief before getting trapped in Aleyn's soulful green eyes. "...I hope it's a good one?"

"I'm hardly an expert, but... I hope so too. I think so." He wanted to believe it, anyway, and maybe that would be enough. "Kiss, so I feel better?"

"Of course," Vedran answered, and leaned in to do just that. It was, he hoped, going to be okay.